Gansey winced. This, this was not the kind of thing Gansey would do. He would never leave Ronan alone like that, not by choice. This place would have to have taken him. Not a single part of Gansey would leave any of them behind. They stayed together. Period.
Suddenly, he was touching her. He was touching her and she was allowing it. Something wavered in him and he thought about holding her hand, or the comfort he might get from hunching over to bury his face in her neck and hide. Just for a bit. Just until he could figure some of this out.
He removed his hand. Gansey always wanted to be near her, to touch her. If this Blue didn't before, he was sure she could see it, now. She'd close the distance when she was ready. That was something Gansey would hold on to.
"August," Gansey said, twisting his wrist to look at a watch that wasn't there. He felt oddly naked without it, and he wondered why he'd been able to keep his glasses in the transition but not his watch. He wore the damn watch more than he wore his glasses.
Anyway, he knew why Blue was asking. Not being able to leave, that wasn't something he could deal with. It would get cataloged away and Gansey would examine it no further until it sent up a flare and demanded his attention.
"It happened, Blue. On the ley line." He meant his death. He meant the kiss. He meant months of living after it and how she'd ended his life with her lips and he'd lived to kiss them again. A strange calm overtook him. "Ronan was dying. There was no other way.
"Cabeswater remade me. Because you all asked it to: Ronan and Adam and you. Because of what each of you means to Cabeswater." What he meant was you saved me. What he meant was things are different now.
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Suddenly, he was touching her. He was touching her and she was allowing it. Something wavered in him and he thought about holding her hand, or the comfort he might get from hunching over to bury his face in her neck and hide. Just for a bit. Just until he could figure some of this out.
He removed his hand. Gansey always wanted to be near her, to touch her. If this Blue didn't before, he was sure she could see it, now. She'd close the distance when she was ready. That was something Gansey would hold on to.
"August," Gansey said, twisting his wrist to look at a watch that wasn't there. He felt oddly naked without it, and he wondered why he'd been able to keep his glasses in the transition but not his watch. He wore the damn watch more than he wore his glasses.
Anyway, he knew why Blue was asking. Not being able to leave, that wasn't something he could deal with. It would get cataloged away and Gansey would examine it no further until it sent up a flare and demanded his attention.
"It happened, Blue. On the ley line." He meant his death. He meant the kiss. He meant months of living after it and how she'd ended his life with her lips and he'd lived to kiss them again. A strange calm overtook him. "Ronan was dying. There was no other way.
"Cabeswater remade me. Because you all asked it to: Ronan and Adam and you. Because of what each of you means to Cabeswater." What he meant was you saved me. What he meant was things are different now.